Life After Beth (2014)

I didn’t expect much from this movie, but a family member rented it and I decided to watch in hopes that my fears would be unfounded and I would be exposed to a hidden gem. How very wrong I was. “Life After Beth” is dreadfully bad, an utter misfire on every level and a mediocre experience even if you lower your expectations exponentially.

“Life After Beth” is pretty much the 2004 horror-comedy “Zombie Honeymoon” except with the gender roles reversed and way, way worse. On paper it looks acceptable enough- what can go wrong with a cast like this? (I take that back, John C. Reilly was in the turd-tastic “Step Brothers.” But hey, “Magnolia!”) All I could think about towards the end was how surreal it was that Paul Reiser was in this and “Whiplash” the same year (the difference? “Whiplash” was actually good.)

Zach (Dane Dehaan) is an uninteresting young man whose girlfriend, Beth (Aubrey Plaza,) has recently died from a snakebite accident. So when Beth comes back with a voracious appetite for human flesh and a proclivity for smooth jazz (wait… what?), Zach isn’t ready to deal with the consequences.

While Beth’s mom and dad ( Molly Shannon and John C. Reilly) are determined to keep Beth’s death a secret from her (she doesn’t remember anything, and doesn’t show signs of decomposition immediately,) Zach’s parents (Paul Reiser and Cheryl Hines) and gun-toting security guard brother (Matthew Gray Gubler) are no help at all, and Zach is left on his own trying to reconcile his feelings for Beth.

“Life After Beth” could have been a devastating drama where the grieving Zach tries to cope with Beth’s rebirth, along the lines of the TV series “The Returned.”  Or it could have been a hilarious zomedy similar to “Shaun of the Dead.” Instead it is neither. It is nothing. It is obsolete. It walks the line between comedy and drama (cheesy, but with few real laughs) and accomplishes nothing. It makes no lasting impression except to remind you occasionally how painfully bad it is.

The humor is just awkward (involving Beth throwing things and growling a lot and undead sexual aggression- always a laugh riot) and the drama disappointingly half-baked. Despite the star-studded cast, the movie features half-assed acting jobs all around. Dane Dehaan was an outright bore. With a lead who doesn’t seem to take the movie seriously, why should we? As for the make-up, my dad did a better job on my Halloween costume using about $20 worth of resources.

“Life After Beth,” is quite simply a pointless waste of time. It’s impossible to care about any of the characters because they’re so one-dimensional and a ending that should have been tragic (or funny! Or interesting! Anything!) just falls flat. I wouldn’t even recommend for die-hard Aubrey Plaza fans to watch this. It’s shit, and that’s a shame because there are way better horror/comedy films out there and this could have been one of them. Avoid this suck-fest at all costs.

Waitress (2007)

Despite occasional glib and sitcomish moments, “Waitress” is mostly a detectible treat and a very entertaining feel-good comedy-drama. Impregnated by her useless husband Earl (Jeremy Sisto,) strong-minded Jenna (Keri Russell,) who has a gift for making pies, despairs at the presumed damper having a baby will have on her life. With the help of her girlfriends (Cheryl Hines and writer/director Adrienne Shelly, who was senselessly murdered shortly after the film was made,) the local diner’s grumpiest patron Old Joe (Andy Griffith,) and her handsome new doctor Jim Pomatter (Nathan Fillion,) with whom she begins a feverish affair, Jenna summons up the strength to break free of her oafish and increasingly abusive husband.

Jenna is immature, and that shows throughout, but it’s hard not to like her as she struggles with the troglodyte nightmare that is her husband. The entire cast makes the movie a treat worth savoring, but Jeremy Sisto is the stand-out as the possessive husband. Earl is both a total asshole and pathetically needy, and the conflict is established quickly- Jenna needs to earn money to enter and win a pie-making contest, getting away from Earl for good. Earl just wants his woman at home to bed him and make him steak.

The side characters are a little too ‘small-town Southern eccentric,’ but still very funny and entertaining. Old Joe is mean (more like obstinate,) but he’s not THAT mean, and he imparts one final surprise upon Jenna. Ogie (Eddie Jemison) the ‘stalking elf’ romances Jenna’s coworker Dawn (Shelly) with a vengeance, coming up with impromptu poetry and not taking no for an answer. He might would be creepy if we weren’t laughing so hard at his fervor. All the characters are human, if not always respectful or kind, and although adultery (one of the films’ main plotlines) is wrong, “Waitress” handles the subject gently rather than proselytizes.

I would have liked to get more background on gal pal Becky (Cheryl Hines)’s unfaithful and downright mean treatment towards he brain-damaged husband, which seems sometimes disturbingly downplayed. I’m not a big pie person, but I would jump for one of Jenna’s scrumptious creations, which are featured in fantasy scenes where Jenna plans her confections in her head. One ‘I hate my husband pie,’ coming up.

“Waitress” is a ‘chick flick,’ but one that boyfriends and husbands shouldn’t mind being dragged to this particular flick. It’s sweet, heartwarming, and often very funny, as Jenna comes to terms with her pregnancy and the symptoms and mood swings that come with it, as well as the big what ifs- will she make a good mother? Will this little boy or girl thank her someday for being brought into a world that seems less and less like a fairy tale? Gently moving entertainment.